This String of Moments
I've been thinking a good bit over the last few months about self-care, and in particular the need for conscious self-care on the part of artists.
In part these thoughts come from my own understanding of what I need - starting with saying 'no' more often - and honouring the fact that I need LOTS of recharge time on my own to be good to and for others and for the community I wish to support and serve. That means fewer opportunities sometimes - which has its own sort of stress. But for me right now, that's necessary. These thoughts also stem from many conversations (truth to tell, too many) with other artists over the last couple of years about the reality of their lives, and about exhaustion and burnout.
How incredibly focussed and dedicated my colleagues are - and how tired. Juggling jobs (two? three? more???) some of them, to keep head above water in a gig economy. OR, finally landing "THE job" - the one that pays enough to forego the side gigs - just to see time and energy eaten week after week by the needs and demands of the work at hand, because there aren't enough hands to do the work, or hours in the day ... and they are responsible people, who care about their colleagues and the work they do.
And these bright, talented people ask themselves (and have admitted to me): "I wonder if I am still an artist? Can I even call myself that anymore?
That's a hard thing to hear, especially given that it's evident how much talent they have and how much they have to offer the world and their community, on all kinds of levels.
SO - why on earth am I talking about this, and interspersing these observations with pictures of autumn leaves, and glancing sunlight, and panorama photos of coastlines and sky?
Because I have the privilege of being able to take some time for myself just now; I have joked that I have "run away" temporarily ... but I haven't really. Not at all.
If anything, I have gone away to be more totally present. I had the opportunity to get away from my home city and all that is familiar, and to spend some time in another part of the country. I jumped at it. I knew I needed the break very badly, and was (and continue to be) incredibly grateful for the good fortune that has allowed me to do this.
To just be for a little while.
To figure a little bit more out - what next, why, what are the limits, how far and hard to push, and in what direction.
What is healthy (for me) ... what is healthy for each of us? It can't be the grind that I see so many people inside, in all walks of life. Is it any wonder so many of us are angry? Sad? Feeling desperate?
Do I have the solutions or answers or tools to help? I have no idea. But I do know that not having the opportunity to just STOP for a little bit, every so often, absolutely precludes the opportunity to consider these questions - and to seek the answers that are right for oneself.
May the world shift in favour of more humane ways of being for all of us.
Tomorrow is another day, and perhaps it will be a good one, for more of us.